Feeling "it" today :(

Wow. It is amazing to me that grief still hits sooooo hard. At times when I least expect it. I have been thinking about him more. Still hurts. A neighbor of mine found out recently at her 20 week ultrasound that her sweet baby girl had severe defects. The doctors were concerned it wouldn't live to term. She is a very quiet woman, but opened up to me. I was amazed how quickly my experience came back to me like it were yesterday. She teared up saying that her little one proabably wouldn't survive. It broke my heart all over again. To know that someone else was going to hurt like me. I wasn't able to make it to church on Sunday, but they announced that she lost her baby. I know how she feels and I feel that Heavenly Father knows that I can be there for her. For any support she needs. We have such a small ward and I feel that it isn't fair. But I am reminded that our ward is a family. A strong family. We might be small in number, but our strength is great. I am dedicating this poem to her. From one grieving parent to another. (You might need a tissue for this one!)

I thought of you and closed my eyes,

And prayed to God today.

I asked what makes a Mother,

And I know I heard him say:

A mother has a baby,

This we know is true.

But, God, can you be a mother,

When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can he replied,

With confidence in his voice.

I give many women babies,

When they leave is not thier choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,

And others for a day.

And some I send to feel your womb,

But theres no need to stay.

I just don't understand this God,

I want my baby here.

He took a breath and cleared his throat,

And then I saw a tear.

I wish that I could show you,

What your child is doing today,

If you could see your child smile,

With other children who say:

We go to earth and learn our lessons,

Of love and life and fear.

My mommy loved me oh so much,

I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a mom,

Who had so much love for me.

I learned my lessons very quickly,

My mommy set me free.

I miss my mommy oh so much,

But I visit her each day.

When she goes to sleep,

On her pillow's where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,

And whisper in her ear.

"Mommy don't be sad today,

I'm your baby and I'm here."

So you see my dear sweet one,

Your children are Ok.

Your babies are here in My home,

They'll be at heavens gate for you.

So now you see what makes a mother.

It's the feeling in your heart.

It's the love you had so much of,

Right from the very start.

Though some on earth may not realize you are a mother,

until their time is done.

They'll be up here with Me one day,

And you'll know that you're the best one!

~Author Unknown