This time of year

Why is it that this time of year is so hard on us who have suffered through a loss? Why is it that when the chill in the air comes, so does our sadness even more so? Why is it that instead of rushing for gifts our hearts are sad and full and the ONE thing we want most, we can't have?

I can't imagine us all in heaven- Knowing what challenges were up ahead and yet we still came to this earth to live through them. Back when my grief was so fresh, I used to tell people that I stood in the wrong line in heaven. There is no way that I would have volunteered to lose a child. But as the months have gone by and the sorrow lightened a bit, I have realized that I am not the only one with this loss. It is not just about me.

I am the primary chorister and was teaching a song to my little Jr primary. For those of you who have been in primary might know it but its called "Picture a Christmas" I want to list the first verse and chorus for those who aren't familiar with the words:

Picture a stable in Judea

Picture a sacred silent night

And can you hear, The Angels near

And see the star so bright

Picture the little baby Jesus

Think of his life and words so dear

Sing praise to Him

REMEMBER Him

As you picture Christmas this year.

Isn't it true that we can get all caught up and forget the real meaning of Christmas? I was talking to a good friend a while back and we were discussing Taylor. She asked if I would have still gone through the pregnancy even if I knew beforehand that he would pass away. I didn't even hesitate. OF COURSE. She said that Heavenly Father knew that his Son would die and yet sent Him anyway- for all of us! So that we could return to Him and our loved ones again. What an amazing gift that we received when Jesus was born. I am truly grateful for that sacrifice and yet the holidays will always bring a sadness for me, there is also a peace as well. I know that Taylor has some pretty important work up in heaven before we come. Christmas seems to have more of the TRUE meaning shine through for me now. I am blessed and can't wait when my real "gift" will come to be with my WHOLE family again.

I wish that we all REMEMBER the true meaning of the holiday season and hope that this coming year will bring much happiness and joy to all.