I have had several people tell me that they check out my blog but never know what to say. I, 2 years ago, would be the same way. I was in the same frame of mind. I heard sad news or heard of someone passing and I would think in that instant how sad it is, but then I moved on.
A couple in my mom's ward lost a baby a few months before me. I remember sitting on my mom's couch and she was telling me the story. I felt sad and sorry for the couple. I had gone to high school with the husband. It made it more real. I would talk to my mom and ask how they were holding up. But then, I forgot. I had moved on. Until, Dec 2, 2006. From that moment, I've had an emptiness and sadness that is indescribable. I felt that NOONE knew what I was experiencing and NOONE could help me.
A co-worker of mine gave me a book at the burial of my Taylor. The title is "Gone Too Soon" by Sherri Wittwer. It is An Amazing book. Chapter 7 is dedicated to helping those who are grieving. It lists several things you can do to help. I think a lot of people don't know what to say so they choose not to say anything. I would walk through the halls at church or the store and people would put their head down and walk by. I felt worse.
I know it has been almost two years. Why am I still grieving? But in my perspective, it has ONLY been two years. I feel that I have made HUGE progress and am actually happy and laughing again. I know that I will never be the person I was before. But I am stronger and a better person for it.
Watching General Conference, I loved Thomas S. Monsen's quote, "Find Joy in the Journey". I feel that I have found joy. And although I would love to have Taylor with me, my journey has been wonderful. My children are so precious and fun. So please don't ask if I have moved on. I won't ever move on from Taylor, but I have moved forward and have found joy in my journey.
So, please comment. Don't pass by- I would love to hear from you. Please say how you feel when you read my blog. Or maybe quote a poem, or song. Or even let me know how you are doing. Hope to hear from you soon!
2 comments:
I remember not knowing what to say, but I thought it was worse not to say anything at all. I would just relate back to when my Dad died, "what would I want someone to say to me?" I think it is best just to be ears. I don't know why anyone would ask if you have moved on, no one moves on, you can never forget that. I think you can just embrace it and be stronger and enjoy the blessings that come from it.
Thanks for giving me the hope that it gets better--not that it ever goes away but it gets better. Right now I just don't see that happening but I hope to laugh again and find joy again. I'm trying so hard to find "joy in the journey" when my heart is aching. Thanks for this post.
Love,
Andrea
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